8th November 2001
The weather is as rough as rats. I didn’t really get any sleep again last night and I feel like I’ve done 10 rounds with Tyson. I’m aching and tired and seriously lacking a sense of humour. On top of that I haven’t had a shower in two days and I stink and feel horrible. There is no way I could shower in this, and even if I managed to hold on and not fall over, the water would come out of the tray and flood the bathroom. It’s not just me, we are all (literally) in the same boat, and everyone looks tired, greasy and sick.
I’d give anything to just be still for a while. I keep imagining the luxury of sitting in a comfy arm chair, to be able to put a cup of tea down somewhere and it not go hurtling across the room, to have 10 minutes of quiet without howling winds, the creaks and groans of the 30 year old ship taking a hammering and the incessant engine noise.
Today has been a struggle in every respect, and I wish I could ring a bell and it all be over – to suddenly find myself at home, in a still and quiet world.